Sunday, January 8, 2017

"She lives the poetry she cannot write" - Oscar Wilde




She is back... or she is trying to..
She stopped writing a long time ago. She was scared. Scared that people will read her thoughts. Scared she will admit what was in her mind. She is even scared now. But why?

She used to be fearless you know. Nothing could take her down. Nothing could take her away from her romantic and wild thoughts. She used to write what was in her mind and her heart and wouldn't even think of what people say. She didn't care. She had everything and nothing, she was careless, free and young. She was a dreamer.

And then she started trying to figure out what her dreams were. She left her comfort zone and went to a place where she really cared about what people say. So she stopped writing. Or she stopped when her heart was broken. Yes. Her heart was broken. She broke it herself, she didn't regret it, it is what she wants but she had to make peace with her broken heart and keep moving.

She is 25 and she feels like time goes by without her doing what she needed to do. Has she become the person she wanted to be? Is she young and free? Her life doesn't fit in a pattern. Actually her life does, but her heart cannot. She would love to travel. She would love to go out and dance.. and drink and laugh. She loves doing things that make her escape time. Is that life what is all about? Escaping time?

She likes this moment right now. she is still scared though. Still don't know why. You can only start achieving things when you stop thinking about what people will say... when you let yourself be the real you. She smiled. She is loving how she is just typing her thoughts out. It feels right.

She is a simple girl. She likes to chill with a cup of coffee and watch Friends. She only likes comedies. She hates dramas. But she loves dramatic songs that speak to the heart. She wants to laugh. She doesn't like negativity and she doesn't answer her phone most of the times because of it. She is stressed sometimes because her mind is full of ideas to grow rich but then she doesn't want to hustle. She wants to be perfect. She is jealous of what others have become. But at the same time..She wants to be wild, free, in love, and careless.. Her soul is young. She doesn't like routine cause it takes time away and she only wants to escape time.

You know these moments when you feel like nothing else matters..when you lose the days and time.. when you just feel happy and alive and the emotions are so intense you want to cry? She loves these moments. She lives for them. She is lucky enough she had experienced lots and they keep her heart warm but she needs more now.

You know how they say enjoy your youth cause you won't even understand when you have become old.? It feels like this is happening when you put yourself in a routine with work and a timetable that only dehydrates your creativity. She doesn't want that. She has an adventurous heart.

She wants to believe that she has not even explored her real self yet. And that is a nice feeling.. when you push yourself and get surprised by your own power, your own reactions. She is only 25.. there is so much more out there to discover.. so many feelings she hasn't felt.. so many opportunities she hasn't grasped.. so many trips she hasn't taken. .so many people that will change her life and she hasn't met yet..  She smiles.. Only the idea of what life could bring is fascinating..













Saturday, July 16, 2016

Εσενα..



Εσενα να αγαπας..
Εσενα, που δεν ξερεις ακομα τι θελεις απο την ιδια σου τη ζωη..
Εσενα, που σε πιανουν οι ανησυχιες στις 2 τα ξημερωματα..
Εσενα, που το μυαλο σου σε βασανιζει καθε βραδυ..
Εσενα, που αναρωτιεσαι αν η ζωη που επελεξες σε κανει οσο ευτυχισμενη ησουν πριν..
Εσενα, γιατι σε κανεις περηφανη που και που με το ποσο εχεις ωριμασει..
Εσενα, που κυνηγας οτι λεει η καρδια σου..
Εσενα, που δεν κανεις πισω στις αρχες σου..
Εσενα, που εισαι αυστηρη με τους ανθρωπους σου..
Εσενα, κι ας κυνηγας την τελειοτητα απεγνωσμενα..
Εσενα, γιατι εχεις αγαπησει πολυ και εχεις αγαπηθει αλλο τοσο..
Εσενα, γιατι ξερεις οτι ο,τι εχεις ζησει ειναι αληθινο και ο,τι εχει πει, ειλικρινες..
Εσενα, γιατι συγχωρεις τα λαθη σου..
Εσενα, γιατι εχεις ερθει απο υπεροχα πλασματα..
Εσενα, γιατι σκορπας χαρα..
Εσενα, και ας σταματας να χαμογελας καμια φορα..
Εσενα, γιατι θες την τρελα..
Εσενα, που διψας για περιπετειες μικρου παιδιου..
Εσενα, που θελεις να χορευεις σαν να εισαι μονη σου στον κοσμο..
Εσενα, κι ας εχεις υψηλες προσδοκιες..
Εσενα, γιατι πολεμας για μια ζωη που δεν ξεφευγει μεσα απο τα δαχτυλα σου..
Εσενα, γιατι εμαθες να στεκεσαι μοναχη σου..
Εσενα, που εχεις θαρρος..
Εσενα, που λαχταρας να ταξιδεψεις αλλα φοβασαι μονη σου..
Εσενα, που σου λειπουν εκεινοι που σε κανουν να γελας με ενα γεια..
Εσενα, που προτιμας μια αγκαλια απο μακρια..
Εσενα, που εχασες απο διπλα σου τοσους αγαπημενους σου..
Εσενα, που ψαχνεις..
Εσενα, γιατι εχεις γερο στομαχι..
Εσενα, που ξεκινησες να γραφεις και παλι και ας τρεμεις για το τι θα βγει απο μεσα σου..
Εσενα, που ξαφνικα φοβασαι τι θα πει ο κοσμος..
Εσενα..
Εσενα οπως εισαι.. και να κανεις εσενα περηφανη.. και να λες σε εσενα παντα την αληθεια.. και να μην τα παιρνεις ολα σοβαρα..
Να αγαπας εσενα.







Monday, July 27, 2015

I have grown up to become younger




I feel like I have grown up and have become younger..

In your life you will have these moments when your brain and your heart will not agree.
You will put yourself in huge dilemmas.
You will have to choose a path.
And each path will send you on a different direction, a different life..
And eventually you will have to chose..
Because you can't sleep every night with the same thoughts..
But you will not be alone..
You will understand how precious the love you get from your friends and family is.
You will feel grateful for having people around you who can understand you... Understand YOU..
and based on you and your own good will advice you but will not judge you.
You will smile inside you for how grateful you are.
And you will become stronger.
Ready to choose.
But you have to think about everything.
You have to understand what you are feeling.
You have to separate your thoughts and your feelings.
And then you will chose.
You will make decisions for your own good.
And believe me honey... some people will not be happy with your choice.
You will hear many things..
And they will kind of disappoint you..
But you will know that you did what you felt like doing..
 and that is why is the right choice for you..
And in that moment you will feel free..
Cause you took charge in your own life..
You understood who your people are..

You understood that your life is your piece of art..
And only by being true to your self you can experience happiness in your life..







Sunday, July 12, 2015

When I lose control..





Ενα απο τα μεγαλυτερα μαθηματα που πηρα αυτην την χρνια ειναι το ποσο αστεια αλλαζουν τα πραγματα μεσα σου και γυρω σου οταν μπαινεις σε ενα περιβαλλον ξενο. Θεωρεις τον εαυτο σου κατασταλαγμενο, προετοιμασμενο για οτιδηποτε και συνειδητοποιημενο..

Φυσικα και εχεις δικαιο αλλα αυτα καρδια μου συμβαινουν σε γνωριμα σε σενα περιβαλλοντα οπου εχεις τον απολυτο ελεγχο. Κι οταν χανεις τον ελεγχο εκει βλεπεις πραγματικα ποιος εισαι, πως αντιδρας, ποσο καθολου δεν ξερεις τι θες, ποσο χαμενα τα χεις και με ποιο τροπο προσπαθεις να ξαναπαρεις τον ελεγχο των πραγματων.

Αλλα απο την αλλη σου αρεσει.. σου αρεσει που εχεις χασει για λιγο τον ελεγχο. Ναι η πιεση του απροσμενου ειναι μεγαλη, αλλα η γοητεια του ειναι σχεδον εθιστικη.

Δεν ξερω αν ειναι καλυτερο η οχι γιατι οι πιθανοτητες να πανε τα πραγματα στραβα και να τα χασεις ολα ειναι μεγαλυτερη απο το να ελεγχεις τα παντα γυρω σου και κυριως τον εαυτο σου.

Ξερω ομως πως καμια φορα στην ζωη μας πρεπει να ξεβολευομαστε για να δουμε τι πραγματικα ειναι αυτο που θελουμε. Και εκει ειναι που παιζεις με τα ορια.. Και εκει ειναι που τα βραδια το μυαλο σου στριφογυριζει και σε κρατα ξαγρυπνο. Ψαχνεις να βρεις ποια ειναι τα ορια και αναρωτιεσαι.. Και αυτο το παιχνιδι ειναι επικινδυνο..












Saturday, June 6, 2015

Almost sure...



They say whatever you chose be sure that you made the right choice.. There is one thing I am absolutely sure about.. I am always almost sure that I am doing the right thing. To be honest I am 24 years old and I have no idea what exactly I want. If you ask me now where do I see myself in 5 years I can surely answer "I don't know". And no matter how immature this sounds, no matter if you say I am a mess or not.. for me it is fine. Cause I haven't seen anything yet to be sure about. 

Things change so quickly, so easily. And we worry about tomorrow so intensely that it does not even make sense. Yes we need to make a choice at the end of the day. Cause we need to decide where are we going to be, with whom, doing what. But aren't we really losing ourselves worrying for who are we going to be tomorrow when we are still trying to figure out who are we today? 

And then you have these voices. Voices from everybody who is acting like he knows what you should   do. How the hell do you know what should I do with my life when I don't even know?? It is easy for someone to judge. To say who you are, what are doing, what are your plans. And then you are tired. Tired of your thoughts. Tired of people around you that are telling you what you should do but then in the end they always say "It is your decision and I am going to be there...or not", so that they can feel better. 

And I am about to write that you should stop worrying about people. People that come and go in your life. That make you feel and then they leave. People that are telling you "if you do this, we are done". People that make you feel responsible for their shit. But I am not going to tell you to stop. Cause it might hurt. But people and the mess they create is what makes life interesting. Just be strong. Just don't lose yourself trying to deal with them. 

24 years old. I may not know what I want, but I surely know who I am. I don't know who I want to be, but I surely know how I became the person I am today. And what I understood from life until now is that there is not right or wrong. There are choices. Every choice you make is part of who you are. What I also learned is that whatever you chose to do you may not be able to do it with passion (cause it might not really inspire you) but you should definitely try and do your best. And challenge yourself. Everyday. Even when you feel that you have everything you want. Go for more. Never settle. But be kind. And let the others say you are selfish. You are just crazy. Crazy for life. 


Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. 
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

Mary Schmich

Monday, March 30, 2015

Sometimes you just have to let yourself free..




I had absolutely forgotten how beautifully alive you feel when your mind can't settle down, when your thoughts are torturing you.
I actually feel free cause I know that my mind and my heart love distracting me.
I feel young cause I still have no idea where I'm going and what I'm doing.
I only know that I enjoy each day of my life.
I know that my brain sometimes wants to explode.
I know that I can be a mess.
And its for my best.
I enjoy cause when you feel this way you can find yourself again even if you haven't realised that you've lost it.
It's like your own body, your own mind wake you up with a sweet "hey beautiful you are still young and helpless in front of whatever unexpected life brings you".
I let myself lose control, even if it might hurt
cause it's what I want to do,
is how I create memories.
Intense pure life memories.
Letting my body dance,
letting people discover me,
laughing,
trusting,
enjoying...life. 













Friday, February 27, 2015

Intoxicated by good times






Περνάει ο καιρός.. και το χειρότερο είναι ότι περνάει ο καιρός όταν περνάς καλά.. 
Κοιτάω φωτογραφίες και συνειδιτοποιώ ότι δεν θα άλλαζα ούτε ένα λεπτό από τα τελευταία 6-7 χρόνια (πόσα;;;).. 

Το μεγαλύτερο και ίσως πιο σημαντικό πράγμα που έχω καταφέρει είναι μάλλον αυτό.. Έχω κρατήσει στην ζωή μου ανθρώπους που με κάνουν να γελάω και με τους οποίους μπορώ να είμαι εγώ, να λέω ότι θέλω και να με αντέχουν.. Και έχω γεμίιιισει στιγμές και φωτογραφίες, από ταξίδια, σπιτομαζόξεις, βλακείες. 

Ναι μου λείπει η Ελλάδα.. όχι ακόμα πολύ βέβαια αλλά μόλις μπει η άνοιξη νομίζω ότι το μυαλό μου θα ταξιδεύει εκεί κάθε μέρα. 

Και η εμπειρία εδώ βέβαια είναι άλλη. Και όσο σκέφτομαι ότι αυτοί είναι οι τελευταίοι μήνες που θα είμαι ποτέ φοιτήτρια, να περνάω ώρες στα αμφιθέατρα, στις βιβλιοθήκες, στις εργασίες καταλαβαίνω ότι δεν αξίζει να αφήνω τον χρόνο να κυλάει χωρίς να ζω έντονα..

Όση πίεση, όσο άγχος, όση τρέλα και υποχρεώσεις κι αν έχεις να αντιμετωπίσεις κάθε μέρα.. Πρέπει να βρεις τον χρόνο να χαλαρώσεις, να πάρεις τους φίλους σου, να πιείς μία μπύρα και να γελάσεις με την καρδιά σου... Α, και να βγάλεις φωτογραφίες.. πολλές!!










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